We all want love

A friend showed me this picture of Ashlee moments after she was sent home by Sean, from ABC's The Bachelor. http://beta.abc.go.com/shows/the-bachelor/blogs/love-or-hate/ashlee-week-nine

There is a deep sadness/pain in Ashlee's eyes. A pain that we've all seen or felt at varying times in our life. Have you ever wondered why, when looking at a picture from this kind of experience, some people will empathize  with her to the point of their own tears, and others will empathize with more of an understanding  of the situation and potentially benefit from an increased understanding of themselves through Ashlee's experience? What is it that is different in people that contributes to the spectrum of responses? The main difference is our individual perspective(s) created from our own experiences and the emotions we carry with us from each experience.

We all have individual, yet similar experiences in our lives, and in a case such as Ashlee's, if we are holding onto the feelings of pain from rejection, abandonment, hurt, loneliness, anger, confusion, unloved, feeling unlovable and fear, then our reaction could easily be to break down in tears, as we will be "triggered" by her experience. Reacting in any of the previously mentioned ways is not uncommon. For most of us, we've been taught to just push down the feelings and keep going.

Is it really conceivable that pushing down the emotions and not understanding them is beneficial to us? If you use the analogy of dirt on our skin/body relating to the emotions we feel. The dirt leaves a film on our skin if we don't wash it off. The same is true with the emotions we bury or try to ignore. Unless we free ourselves of them, the film left behind from them will filter our perspective in all situations in our life. For example, say we are in a situation where we are rejected. The hurt and pain of the rejection will create a film on our skin. No matter what we do or wear, we will feel that film, or at the very least not feel clean. In fact, leaving a dirt film can have physical effects on us, by clogging our pours, irritating our eyes, in which case, the secondary issues will create new problems for us to deal with. Understanding this, do we really want to walk around with a dirt film on our body?

If that is all we know then it is what it is, but there are ways to clean the 'dirt from our skin', and feel refreshed with a new sense of  clean, optimism and inner peace. It's very easy to say "just get over it" or "they didn't deserve you", and while all of that may be true, when we are covered in the dirt film, it's not so easy to see and/or change our reactions, behaviours and actions. Understanding what the dirt film consists of will allow us to wash our skin clean and keep the dirt film from ever developing again.

Emotions are a part of what makes us human. They are not good or bad, they just are. The challenge occurs when we get bogged down with the emotions. Learning to understand the effect the emotions have on our behaviour and reactions, allows us to learn more about ourselves, and take responsibility for our reactions and behaviours in all situations in our life. Our true power in life for the love and success we all deserve comes from learning through understanding to take personal responsibility and see ourselves and others with loving eyes.

We can all relate to what Ashlee is experiencing. If you watch the show you can see her strengths and her vulnerabilities. She openly shares her vulnerabilities with Sean with a bit of trepidation. What causes her trepidation? While she obviously has done work on freeing herself of the emotional chains of her experiences, there appears to be some underlying triggers. These triggers are apparent in her apprehension of sharing the "skeleton in her closet". She was married young, a experience she states she isn't proud of. This is part of who she is, and while we all, in hindsight, find ourselves in situations we wish we hadn't been, these provide us with opportunities to look within ourselves and learn more about ourselves. What is important is not what we did, but what we've learned. It is only through that perspective, can we ensure that we will not repeat those behaviours that are not conducive to us exhibiting our true power.

On a different level, Sean made Ashlee feel like she could trust him. Looking back at it, what exactly did Sean do to gain Ashlee and the other ladies trust? He spoke sweetly and was attentive, in their one on one moments. This is not a critique of Sean, rather an opportunity for us to ask ourselves, "Did he reciprocate to the ladies what they shared with him?" The sharing of herself that Ashlee did with Sean, was that coming from a place of self love, or a fear of never finding love? When we want something so badly, with little reciprocation from the other person, could it be that actually viewing our situation through emotional filters?

The most important relationship any of us can have begins with ourselves. Creating a foundation based on pure intent and unconditional love of self. When we build and nurture our foundation, then we are able to grow and learn from our experiences while being loving and understanding of self. Ashlee and every one of us deserves love and it all begins within us. When we can love and appreciate who we are, with all our unique qualities and characteristics, then others will as well.

What understandings do we need to feel that power and inner peace?

The WISE Approach offers just such a solution. There are a number of unique concepts that relate to the emotions created through our experiences that we need to be aware of to fully clear the "dirt" from our skin. They may seem a bit abstract to some, but consider this quote from Albert Einstein " We can't solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them".

Have you ever noticed that the more you experience and/or re-experience situations, that your response becomes more intense with each revisited experience? Or that simply seeing a person or hearing the name of someone who hurt and upset you will get you upset again almost instantly? There is good reason for this. We tend to compartmentalize our emotions. A good analogy to use is that of a Hotel/Motel. We are the hotel/motel, with many rooms, each housing similar memories and emotions. 

One of those compartments can be home for Fractal Parts of Self (FPS). Unlike the following concepts we'll learn about, FPS are outside of the individual compartmentalized rooms with your hotel. What happens when we find ourselves in situations of great hurt or we've been triggered by others situations (which means their emotional pain resonates with the emotional pain(dirt) we are holding on to, FPS will intensify the emotions we are feeling. In fact there could be many that are standing outside each door in our hotel and in some cases, they can hide the door leading into individual rooms holding the more painful memories we've tried to forget. 

It's important to understand that our memories make us who we are today and are a key to learning and not repeating the situations over and over again. Having said that, our memories also hold the emotions. It is those emotions that create a fear of facing the memory to learn from it. While it is extremely beneficial for us to embrace our memories, the emotional pain is not something that we need to hold onto. 

The next consideration related to our emotions, are individual parts and pieces of ourselves holding onto the memories and emotional pain sitting in the rooms in our hotel. Each part/piece holds a memory(s) from each situation we have experienced. As a result of the compartmentalization we do naturally, when an emotion is triggered, our response is very focused and from the particular room(s) that are holding the similar emotions that the symptom situation triggered. Do you wonder why people appear to be out of control when they are very emotional? This is the reason, because we compartmentalize our emotions, when we are responding from one of the rooms in our hotel, then we aren't really responding from the hotel as a whole are we?

The next consideration in our journey through our hotel, takes us in the individual rooms and into the closets. In the closets, we place the most traumatized and hurts parts of self. It's not that we hate them, it's that we don't know how else to alleviate our pain. Of course hiding those parts in closets isn't a way to resolve the pain, but it is a coping mechanism we use to be able to survive. Once again, these parts are holding onto valuable memories but their pain is intense. We can free ourselves of the painful emotions and clear out our closet and embrace those parts and memories, dissolving the closets for good.

The last consideration, for the purposes of this blog, are those parts of us that we have purposely placed in a room(s). Why would we do that? We all have an instinctual drive to be and feel safe. At varying points in our life, if not daily, we will come across those that have expectations of who they think or want us to be. As an adult, it tends to happen less, but as children, we are told how to be and what is expected. If any of those expectations from others are different from what we feel to be true for ourselves, then we will go into protection mode with the feel that it is not 'safe' for us to be anyone other then what we are expected to be. Of course to go against who we naturally are, is a conscious choice we must make and we place those parts of us, that feed that undesirable part of self, in their own room. As we free ourselves of our own emotional baggage, it becomes much easier to embrace those parts of us and be true to ourselves without the fear of reprisal. 

What is the benefits of understanding what has been shared?

The above understandings have a significant effect, not only on our emotional health but our over all health and well being. Our lives can transform to the kind of life we have always wanted simply by understanding and taking responsibility for ourselves. We are born of love and that is who we are. Our experiences tend to eat away at our love of self and and that is when we begin to experience feelings of not being worthy of love and good things in our life. We are worthy, we are lovable and it's just a matter of us feeling it about ourselves. When we can feel it within, then we are able to feel it from others. Isn't it time to clear the dirt and collapse the rooms that are keeping you from feeling the love of self and inner peace?

If you would like to learn more about the WISE Approach and how it can benefit you, please feel free to email Gail at blackman.gail@gmail.com. Until next time, Live WISE~


Copyright © *WISE Approach 2013, All rights reserved.

Pure Intent

THE POWER AND PROTECTION OF OUR PURE INTENT

WORDS AND ACTIONS

One of the most important things to know and be aware of is that INTENT is not just words, without the actions to back the words then ones words are empty and their intent is not pure.

It's easy for us to say we will do this, do that, live like this, live like that, but unless we actually follow those words with action, we are not living as our intent states but we are just following the status quo.

The various crazes related to the Law of Attraction use intent as an intricate part of their foundation, and while the intent in this case is important, I'm going to take some time to look at intent at a deeper level, where its power really lies.
The perspective I come from is one where the belief is that we are all born clean, whole and healthy from our first lifetime taking a soul. It is at this time we have what I refer to as “pure intent”. Our pure intent at this time of our existence is at its most powerful and is the greatest protection we can have in our life. Pure intent is defined as an acknowledgment and belief that we all have the right to be clean, whole and healthy with a deep respect for free will choice both our own and others and for each of our true pathways. Our pure intent also acknowledges that we all have our own truth, and that is to be respected providing it is not causing harm to another.

To relate this to our life today, the pure intent can be seen as our umbrella intent, to which all other choices, reactions, behaviours and actions that result from our embracing our free will choice will fall under the umbrella intent. As we make choices and develop our intent, those individual intents which are do not go against our pure intent, will fall under the umbrella intent. As a result of these choices being protected by the umbrella, there is little chance of them getting wet.
For those choices we make that go against in anyway our pure intent, they will fall outside the umbrella intent. This will result in those choices not having the protection that pure intent has to offer, and will get wet. The analogy of the umbrella is a simple way of showing that our lives will run smooth if we live our pure intent or if our choices go against our pure intent in some way, our lives can end up in some kind of turmoil, which in most cases, whether recognized as such or not, is our own inner turmoil.

In understanding the power of our pure intent we first must understand what our Pure Intent really means. We all have a true pathway, free will choice and a right to be clean, whole and healthy. These are the foundations of our Pure Intent and understanding and living within this intent is powerful and is your greatest protection.

OUR TRUE PATHWAY

In understanding our life, there are some important understandings required in relation to your true pathway.
• We are always on our true pathway, even in those times when there are the most challenges. Those challenges we experience are our time of learning, a time when we can learn to understand our self and others and bring inner peace into our lives. All paths we walk and follow all lead back to our true pathway.
• Our purpose is for learning and experiencing situations and issues that can help us to grow as a person through healing and understanding.
• Unconditional love of self is one of the greatest lessons we will progress to learn and is the one that will bring the most inner peace to each of us. It is a work in progress and requires a shifted perspective on how we see ourselves, how we see others. It leads to a greater understanding of ourselves and others and in a time when fighting and war is so prevalent, it is the key to peace on earth
• the unconditional love leads to another understanding, which is that growth and healing does not come from blaming either ones self of others , it comes from taking responsibility for oneself.

FREE WILL CHOICE

With key understandings in place related to true pathways, we can move onto free will choice. We all have free will choice, and choosing not make a decision or choice and/or allowing another to make our choices/decisions, is in itself you making a choice.

Respecting and embracing free will choice is not something that we can pick and choose to accept for ourselves or others but something to be embraced within ourselves for ourselves and for others. We may not always agree with the choices others around us make, but if it is something we expect for ourselves then we must give the same respect to others. In those situations where you may not agree with another persons choice, you have the choice yourself to walk away from a situation. Having said that there are underlying factors that don't always make that feasible, at which time your pure intent will help you to find your peace within the situation.

We as individuals need to be responsible for our choices, our reactions, our behaviours, our decisions. Each time we allow another to upset us, hurt us, make us sad, make us feel anything, it is our choice to feel as we do. It is us who are allowing another to make us feel those emotions. You will see more later in this chapter, where taking responsibility or blaming relates to our free will choice aspect of our pure intent.

By our nature, most humans are very compassionate and want to help others. Yet at the same time, we only want to help those that we feel are worthy of our help. In relation to free will choice its important to understand that with every choice decision behaviour etc there are consequences. Those consequences may be good or they may be not so good. Understanding that regardless of the consequence, this is an opportunity for learning and growth within ourselves. So for those that use their free will choice to make choices we don't agree with , its important that we understand that the one making the choice/decision/behaviour etc has an opportunity to learn something, and as mentioned above, it is part of their true pathway and not for us to hinder them in anyway by thinking we can make better choices for them. If we force our own choice on them, for their situation, then we are not only hindering their free will choice, but we are also potentially hindering them in learning an important lesson along their pathway.

Its also very important to understand that within our society, free will choice is not well respected and we are taught at a very young age to not create our own individual intent in life but to follow what is being told to us, act how we are told and expected to act, think how we are told to think. Recognizing the existence of this control on our free will choice is a step closer to self empowerment and living our pure intent.

OUR RIGHT TO BE CLEAN, WHOLE AND HEALTHY

The importance of this section refers also to our reasons for existing. Being open to new ideas and concepts is empowering in the sense that you are able to learn continuously about those things that can hinder us from being clean whole and healthy. In that way, it is our responsibility to embrace this right for ourselves and to learn all we can to make this happen for ourselves. While we may call upon God or angels to do this and that for us, they will only do what is within your awareness and knowledge, so they do not go against your free will choice.

RIGHT TO BE CLEAN

Everything is energy, we are energy, this computer I use to type this information is energy, the floors we walk on, the roads we drive on, everything is energy. Just as our physical bodies can get dirty from day to day living, so too can our energy. While we have been taught from a young age that bathing or showers will clean our physical bodies, little about cleaning our energy has been known or shared with us. There are many things that can “dirty” up our energy daily. Just as, for example, sweat can give us an awareness of residue needing cleared from our bodies, awareness is key in cleaning our energy. Until we are aware of the exist of something, it doesn't exist.

We took our first soul as clean pure energies, but life itself as with our physical body can leave dirt or residue on us based on our experiences. From an energy perspective, our experiences, emotions, connections with others also leave a residue needing cleared to bring us back to our own pure energy. If you consider how long ones life is...and realize that we have many lifetimes we each have lived to date, the amount of build up of residue and various energies sticking to us, is significant.

What are the benefits of being clean?

Just as food, our environment, addictive substances, and everything else in our physical lives can have an affect on our health and feeling whole, so can the energies and residues that may be clinging to our energy. The various things that cling can have an affect on our mental, physical and spiritual state of well being and health. Without an awareness of this possibility, then those things that can actually affect our health and well being don't exist for people, which can lead them down paths of reaction to the symptoms they feel in their lives.

For example, if you have trouble quieting your mind, or your mind is constantly bombarding you with thoughts or messages, that can be a clue that there may be things clinging to your energy that are causing that overwhelming feeling in your mind.

From a physical perspective, we may feel others pain and without the awareness that is belongs to someone else we tend to automatically claim it as our own. Once we claim it as our own, then we continue to feel it and in turn it has an affect on our daily lives.

From the spiritual side of things, those things clinging to us can actually block truths we may have within from surfacing, in an attempt to manipulate your beliefs and your pure intent, which as mentioned earlier, can result in your intent being outside of your umbrella intent, leading to challenges in your life.
The examples shared are not inclusive and are simply given to open ones mind up to the possibility that maybe there is more to life then what has been shared with us or what we have learned.



RIGHT TO BE WHOLE

From a 'whole' perspective, this refers to the acknowledgement that while as humans we are often giving and caring, we also need to be aware that in doing so we need to keep all of our pieces and parts with us.

I'm sure you have heard people say upon a loved ones passing, or the break up of a relationship, “that person took a piece of my heart with them”. While it may be just considered as words to describe the deep feeling of emptiness the person feels with the separation from the loved one, depending on the strength of the feeling put into that statement, they can actually send parts or pieces of themselves to cling to that other person. In doing so the person truly is feeling empty because of part of them was sent, leaving a vacant hole in their energy. In cases where you have sent a part or piece to another or vice versa someone else sending a part of piece to you, that actually is similar to a constant irritant to a wound. As long as those parts are missing, or others are clinging to you, it is a constant reminder of the connection which makes it difficult to heal that situation. If you think of a cut on your finger, you do all you can to clean it so it can heal, but if you bang it again or bend your finger a certain way then it starts to bleed again. Its the same idea when your parts/pieces are clinging to others, or theirs to you, that is like continuously banging or bending your finger so it is not able to heal. When not healed, just as when we have a sore finger, we may see situations differently, or make choices based on those feelings or ties we have through the parts/pieces clinging. Since these choices may be different to the choices we would make when whole, the potential is there for a hindrance to your free will choice and true pathway being unhindered.

What is important to be aware of in these cases, is that taking your parts back or sending others parts back to them, it is not a sign that they weren't important in your life or that you didn't love them, it actually is a sign of unconditional love for yourself and for others, to reclaim all your own parts to be able to walk your true pathway unhindered and allow the same for them.

RIGHT TO BE HEALTHY

As previously mentioned, there are things from our energy that can affect our health and how we feel. Once you walk through the steps of clearing those things not truly you, reclaiming those parts/pieces of yourself from others, then you can focus on your own personal things that can have an affect on your health. The main contributor to our health challenges is our emotions. Every ache, pain, illness, and disease all have an emotional root. Of course once something is in the physical body, its not a one time situation that created it, its a culmination of numerous situations where the same intense emotions have been felt and not healed or released. In a sense they are pushed down leaving a weakness in various areas of your body depending on the emotion. Once the weakness is there, its much more difficult for your own body to heal itself because it can't get past the wall created by the emotional energy in all forms.
A good example of this may be two people walking together, one person goes over on their ankle and breaks it while the second person goes over at the exact same point the exact same way as the first person, but doesn't break their ankle and may have no discomfort at all. How is it that the second person didn't break their ankle? This goes back to the emotional root aspect. The emotional root for ankle problems is inflexibility. The person who broke their ankle, if they were to look at what is happening in their life, and were honest with them, they would notice that there are situations in which they are being inflexible, which then creates the emotional energy that settles in that part of their body. When they went over on their ankle, and if the emotional energy settled there is strong, then that little side step was enough to break their ankle. The second person who didn't hurt themselves, doesn't have the same weakness , meaning the issue of inflexibility is a non issue for them, or they are at the least less inflexible then the first person.
As with all stated and talked about previously, we have a responsibility to ourselves to be open and learn and understand all we can about ourselves in order for us to embrace our pure intent for ourselves and develop the same for others. In taking responsibility, its also important to understand that to embrace our pure intent, it also means that we learn to do for ourselves rather then having others do for us. Having said that no man is an island and we are all here to assist each other, but ultimately no one can do or say to you anything that you don't know or know differently in your own right. When we allow others to do for us, we are surrendering our power to them and can be influenced and/or hindered by them through their own perceptions and preconceptions and illusions.

HOW DO I KNOW IF I AM EMBRACING MY PURE INTENT?

This may be one of the toughest questions you will ask yourself initially. We all have a tendency to think we are doing what is right and have pure intent in our actions, but the list below, while not fully comprehensive, can give you a bit of insight into whether or not you are living your pure intent or if you are deceiving yourself into thinking you are living it.
Questions to consider in helping to identify pure intent within yourself through your actions, behaviours and responses to situations.....

•Do you inspire and lift everyone to their highest potential with unconditional love and acceptance?

•Have you learned to not judge people and instead pray for their health and happiness?

•Do you understand that all happens for a reason, and any path you're on comes to a fork in the road, its not a dead end, but a new opportunity to embrace?

•Are you accepting of others, even though they may not be as you feel they should be or making choices you feel are acceptable?

•Do you have trust and faith, in place of fear, worry, frustration etc in your life?

•Do you trust that you have all you need within yourself to walk your true pathway and learn your chosen lessons?

•Do you embrace all yours and others successes, no matter how small they may seem at the time?

•Do you understand that you are a piece of a greater puzzle, whose piece is as important as all others and your piece is an intricate part of the puzzle?

•Do you respect and have an acceptance of others beliefs and truths even if they are not the same as your own?

•Do you understand the importance and difference between empowering someone and doing for them?

•Do you acknowledge that an understanding of self and others is contributes to inner peace?

•Can you understand that there is a fine line between taking responsibility for self and blaming oneself or others for situations?

•Do you embrace the idea that you have the right to live happily and it is your responsibility and within your power to create that happiness for yourself?

•Are you able to reflect on yourself in a way that is positive and from a learning perspective as opposed to one that is critical, creating a negative feeling towards yourself?

If you find yourself responding “no” to any of the above questions, rather than berating yourself up over it, take all as a clue of areas within yourself to focus on and find the triggers of what is causing you to react with those intents outside the umbrella intent. As I mentioned earlier this pure intent is within us all, but with life being life, and the experiences we have all lived, we can have triggers that hinder us from being able to live our pure intent. Once you are able to find those triggers and heal them, then you are able to continue your journey of reaching your pure intent.